tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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