my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize