Banned from zoo.
Again?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
