from now on my penis is your penis
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
