i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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