oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
