Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
