god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
