let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
