what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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