Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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