Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
