let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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