Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize