Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
