She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize