You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
