Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
