We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
