He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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