She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
