Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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