how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Porn is love you can see.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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