How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
