I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
