U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
