She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My cat gives me a boner
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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