NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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