Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
