booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize