MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
