We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
