Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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