i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
