butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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