dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You ate ashes out of my bong
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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