If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
