He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We had sex on a dog bed..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize