DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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