Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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