So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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