that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
