I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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