hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I forget how to act sober
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize