Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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