I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
