Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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