he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
