Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
