lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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