Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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