We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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