I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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