Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
