Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
