In America we eat man semen.
im holly from the hills drunk
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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