i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
