the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
