my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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