I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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