Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
