You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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