Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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