Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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