I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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