well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
